Getting Off the Trauma Train

And this is essential, because, dear one,

you simply cannot ride that train all day

and be able to function

as the whole person you are,

doing your good work,

and most importantly,

taking care of yourself,

unless you see and seize control of

this torrent of triggers.

If you were parented by or partnered with

a narcissist

clutching an all-consuming craving for

praise, power, and/or possessions,

well,

this grifter-in-chief is

quite the trigger, isn’t he?

And all that old trauma

(or maybe for you it’s new)

comes roaring back:

your fight, flight, freeze, fawn

responses,

those old frenemies

that helped you cope

are now

shouting in your ear,

spinning in your brain,

pulsing through your blood,

and wreaking their

same hot havoc.

First: breathe.

Deeply.

Frequently.

In box formation

(my fave)

4 seconds intake,

4 seconds hold,

4 seconds breathe out,

4 seconds pause.

Repeat.

Next: remember.

You can turn off the news.

You can stop the scroll.

You can step away from conversations

that stir you up.

You can go outside,

breathe the fresh air,

walk in the sun

or rain,

feeling the lush thrill

of being alive.

You can take a nap.

You can ride your bike.

You can call a friend

and laugh together about

things that are NOT SERIOUS.

You can draw, paint, crochet, cook.

You can dance in your kitchen.

You can immerse yourself in a book

that takes you on a beautiful journey

or fills you with inspiration,

or even makes you cry

(this can be a great release.)

You can take care of yourself

by eating things you love

that truly nourish you.

By drinking plenty of water

and getting enough good sleep.

Give yourself a time slot

for news intake.

Follow it with

seriously nurturing self-care.

Your resilience is built not by your suffering

but by find and following a path through it

that supports rather than savages you. 

Be your own best friend

and get off that train.

You’ve done it before.

(And you’re getting

so much practice.)

Breathe. Remember.

You don’t have to do this alone.

We are all in it together.

Get off that trauma train

whenever you choose.

And don’t hesitate

to reach out if you need help

finding your footing.

PROMPT:

Trauma isn’t simply an emotional overreaction.

It´s a physiological response that disrupts the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex, altering how people process emotions and memories.

It’s not “drama” - it’s biology.

How do you respond to a report of yet another (fill in the blank)?

Do you go into fight mode - get angry, with your heart pounding, raising your voice, moving your arms and legs?

Do you take flight - avoiding information, leaving the room because you can’t bear the news or the conversation (but can’t stop thinking about it)?

Do you freeze - go still, feeling overwhelmed and unable to do the simplest tasks even though you don’t necessarily feel a strong emotional reaction to the news?

(Note: the fawn response is compliance or people-pleasing behavior, allowing the abuser to go unchecked.

In this case, the fawners are the ones avoiding conflict with the leadership. They feel the imbalance of power, and fear the repercussions, so they agree in order to protect themselves. This hurts all of us.)

Recognizing how the news affects you helps you choose the best ways to handle your response.

If you find yourself getting agitated: breathe (the box breathing described above really helps) or do any activity that moves your arms and legs to get the adrenaline flushing through your system. (Dance, walk, run, do exercises.)

If you opt for avoidance but still feel anxious: get grounded. Focus on your senses by identifying five things you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste to bring yourself back to the present moment.

If your tendency is to freeze and feel overwhelmed: reach out to someone to help you process your emotions. A conversation with a partner, friend, or family member can offer clarity and a release of the heaviness you may feel.

If you are struggling, know that you’re not alone.

And if you’re looking for a way to overcome your despair about the state of the world, please reach out to me. 

For the last five years, I have been helping people around the world turn their grief into gratitude and a whole new way of thinking, being, and becoming.

Thank you for being open to recognizing your responses to all that is happening, and for focusing on responding in ways that support your well-being.

Maya Frost is an educator, writer, artist, and companion who helps people turn their despair about the world into grounded gratitude, rewilded imagination, and enlivening action. Learn more here