Mindfulness and Flirting: Seizing the Moment
by Maya Frost
Have you ever been called a flirt?
If so, good for you!
You see, flirting is an excellent indication that you are paying attention.
In fact, it is impossible to flirt without being mindful. You can't be all wrapped up in your thoughts or distracted by worries about tomorrow. You are right there, in the moment, picking up on subtle signals and dealing out your own.
But let's think of flirting in a bigger way. Rather than looking at it as as means to connect with someone you may be attracted to, consider it an opportunity to flex your interpersonal mindfulness skills.
You can use your interpersonal mindfulness skills to help you create more meaningful connections in a sincere and friendly way with your neighbor, your grocery clerk, your barista, or someone waiting next to you in line.
The first step in flirting is the same as the first step in mindfulness: noticing something. The pale purple of your waiter's hair? The necklace your barista is wearing? The tattoo on the arm of the person scanning your groceries?
Next step: Smile. Your smile gives the recipient a head's up that you are friendly and open to connecting.
Step three: Mention what you've noticed. A quick and sincere comment like "Cool necklace/tattoo/hair color" is enough to create a connection and open up a conversation. Of course, this is the goal in flirting, but it's also the best way to connect with people in general. Keep it light, and focused on a choice the person has made (dyed hair color, tattoo, jewelry, shoe color, etc.), avoiding comments about anything physical about their body.
Mindfulness of others is a powerful skill that can help you build relationships in all settings. Flirting is nothing more than being aware of others, and taking advantage of what you notice in order to make a connection.
Who said mindfulness has to be quiet, solitary and inner-directed? It can be kind, spirited, or downright sexy.
Notice. Smile. Connect. Repeat
Get out there and seize the moment! Use your interpersonal mindfulness skills to flirt with humanity--and make others glad you chose to interact with them.
© 2003-2020 Maya Frost
Please include the following when sharing:
Maya Frost is an author, mindfulness trainer, and creative change strategist.
Learn more at MayaFrost.com
If so, good for you!
You see, flirting is an excellent indication that you are paying attention.
In fact, it is impossible to flirt without being mindful. You can't be all wrapped up in your thoughts or distracted by worries about tomorrow. You are right there, in the moment, picking up on subtle signals and dealing out your own.
But let's think of flirting in a bigger way. Rather than looking at it as as means to connect with someone you may be attracted to, consider it an opportunity to flex your interpersonal mindfulness skills.
You can use your interpersonal mindfulness skills to help you create more meaningful connections in a sincere and friendly way with your neighbor, your grocery clerk, your barista, or someone waiting next to you in line.
The first step in flirting is the same as the first step in mindfulness: noticing something. The pale purple of your waiter's hair? The necklace your barista is wearing? The tattoo on the arm of the person scanning your groceries?
Next step: Smile. Your smile gives the recipient a head's up that you are friendly and open to connecting.
Step three: Mention what you've noticed. A quick and sincere comment like "Cool necklace/tattoo/hair color" is enough to create a connection and open up a conversation. Of course, this is the goal in flirting, but it's also the best way to connect with people in general. Keep it light, and focused on a choice the person has made (dyed hair color, tattoo, jewelry, shoe color, etc.), avoiding comments about anything physical about their body.
Mindfulness of others is a powerful skill that can help you build relationships in all settings. Flirting is nothing more than being aware of others, and taking advantage of what you notice in order to make a connection.
Who said mindfulness has to be quiet, solitary and inner-directed? It can be kind, spirited, or downright sexy.
Notice. Smile. Connect. Repeat
Get out there and seize the moment! Use your interpersonal mindfulness skills to flirt with humanity--and make others glad you chose to interact with them.
© 2003-2020 Maya Frost
Please include the following when sharing:
Maya Frost is an author, mindfulness trainer, and creative change strategist.
Learn more at MayaFrost.com