June, 2024:

¨Our city was bombed. Our home was destroyed, and my son was injured. The hospital was also damaged, so I had to treat him myself. I carried him on my back, as he could not walk, and begged strangers for rides. It took days to reach a station that was not damaged. Eventually, we arrived in Poland and found a tiny room with a single bed to share. 

 

My ex-husband (we shared parenting) was still fighting, and we had no idea where he was. I had begged his mother to come with us to Poland, but she wanted to stay and wait for him. She was killed a few months later. 

 

My own parents lived in the countryside, and insisted they would be safe there. (Fortunately, I was later able to bring them to Poland to join us, along with my brother and his family.) 

 

When I first talked to Maya, I was devastated. We had just arrived in Poland. My son´s injury was healing, but he was very withdrawn. We were both traumatized. All around me, I saw so much pain and suffering among the other Ukrainian people here, especially the many women who had come with their children. 

 

As a psychologist, I knew I had skills to offer. But I felt too fragile. I was so afraid that I would not be able to bear their pain and my own, too. 

 

Maya encouraged me to start talking with my neighbors (nearly all Ukrainian women with young children.) At first, few of us felt like talking about what we lost, but once we finally did, it felt like such a relief. 

 

Others heard about these conversation circles I was offering (free, of course). We all gathered to cook and then share a meal and conversation with the mothers while other young women watched all the children. This became a regular group experience that gave so much to all of us. 

 

With Maya´s help, I was able to see that I had something important to offer, and that it was also a chance for me to have a community to support me and my son. 

 

These days, despite the ongoing horror in Ukraine, our life is full and rich here.  My son is enjoying school and has many friends. I have a private practice that allows me to pay for an apartment and help my other family members here. This is the most rewarding and meaningful work I have ever done.

 

Five months ago, I received a report that my ex-husband had been killed. We all suspected it, but knowing that his remains had been found offered some closure for us. 

 

It is still very hard to accept that the people and the places we loved are gone. We all hold hope that someday we can return and rebuild everything.

Most of all, I am grateful to have this community here, to feel safe, and to be surrounded by my loved ones.¨

 

*****

October 2025 UPDATE:

 

¨Maya, we are doing well! I hope you and your family are happy and healthy, too.

And I have good news: I met a good man here. He lost his wife in the war. We got married in the summer! It is wonderful to feel this joy together! He and my son adore each other. It makes my heart full. <3

To your question about what helped me most: 

How can I chose just one thing? :) But I want to tell you this: it is the tapping exercise that I use the most. In fact, I use it every day!

As you remember, it really helped me release my own terrible memories. After you introduced me to it, I learned more about it.

And I have taught it to so many mothers and clients here! Over 100, I would say. Now, it is big part of my work.

I don´t know how I would have coped without your kindness and generosity. I am doing what you asked: spreading it to others!¨