Tips from past clients on what helped them reduce anxiety, rewild their imagination, and infuse their days with wonder and companionship.
Last week, I reached out to a few past clients to check in and ask them this question:
“What one tip from our conversations helped you the most?”
And it ended up being a nice little compilation of small things with outsized impact. So today, I’m sharing the top favorite tips with you.
Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash
1. Going Word-Free
This one is the clear favorite. And it’s so simple!
Paula, a journalist and novelist, said:
“I was shocked by how I felt when I stopped stuffing my brain with words. Suddenly, there was this spaciousness, and a feeling of flow. I even quit writing in my journal, and instead go for a peaceful walk. I have done my best writing ever by taking your advice.”
In our attempts to stay informed and make sense of what is happening in the world, we have increased the amount of time we spend each day processing words.
Want to start your day with clarity? Write your morning pages.
Commuting? Listen to the news or a podcast.
Taking a walk? Pop in your ear buds and listen to music with lyrics.
Trying to wind down at night? Watch Netflix or read a novel.
And in between, you’re likely talking, listening, reading a screen, or typing.
But here’s the thing: our brains need word-free time in order to switch from the executive function mode that we use to process incoming information to the default mode where imagination lives.
By filling every spare moment with incoming words, we are diminishing our capacity for imaginative exploration.
[And we have other habits that limit our creative thinking.
For example, whenever a question popped up pre-smartphone, we used to spend time actually wondering about the answer.
Now? We Google it within seconds, and get the answer instantly.]
Choosing to go word-free for chunks of time throughout the day is the simplest way to give yourself not just breathing room but direct access to your imagination without the interference of incoming info.
Do yourself a favor this week and try going word-free for 10-minute periods throughout your day.
2. Recognizing Anxiety As a Habit
Another favorite, this one is based on research by Dr. Jud Brewer (on Substack) showing that anxiety is a habit that can be changed in about 30 days through mindful curiosity.
Yes. 30 days.
No therapy. No medication.
Here’s the loop we get stuck in:
There’s a trigger, such as a news story, or something reminding us of our fears. (Anxiety is literally fear of the future, which is basically the air we breathe right now.)
We respond by worrying. That leads to doomscrolling to get more information, which reinforces our worry, stirring up more anxiety.
We might then engage in some kind of pleasurable avoidance behavior that helps us relax. (Drinking. Eating. Watching TV.)
And….repeat. By reinforcing and then rewarding this looping habit, we are training our brains to be anxious.
But, like any habit, we can change how we respond. The trick is to replace worry and anxiety with curiosity and awareness.
Instead of asking: “What’s going to happen next?” we can ask: “What is actually happening to me right now? Ah, anxiety. Hmmm. Where am I feeling it? What does it feel like? How does it change when I go for a walk or take deep breaths?”
By turning ourselves into curious interviewers, we can avoid the loop and train ourselves to be aware rather than fearful.
Manda, a branding expert, said:
“Taking control of my worry habit changed everything for me. I am no longer taking anxiety medication of any kind. None! Giving myself the gift of that curious mindfulness has been like opening a door to a peaceful place.”
3. Having a Collapse Buddy
This one is my personal favorite, and one I recommend to everyone.
Instead of talking about how things are on Zoom chats with those who live far away from you, find one person who lives near you and is also paying attention to our predicament.
My collapse buddy (or whatever you choose to call it) is Alyona, a bright and lively woman who lives in my neighborhood here in Amsterdam. She is a facilitator and host trained by Nora Bateson in the Warm Data Lab format. And she has had her own experience of collapse and renewal.
Every Tuesday morning, Alyona and I meet at a local cafe, sometimes for as long as two hours, just to talk. We do get into the dark stuff, but overall, it is a wildly uplifting conversation simply because we feel seen, heard, and supported.
Recently, when I got home from my meet-up with Alyona, my husband said he had walked by the cafe and tried to get my attention.
He said, “I was waving, but you two were laughing too hard to notice me.”
That tracks.
And I cannot overstate how much this impacts my entire week. (Alyona would agree.)
Now, you might think you don’t know anyone who would want to get together to talk about collapse. But it’s more about sharing what you’re going through.
And those who have a scheduled weekly conversation agree that they feel so much more capable of dealing with life right now when they get to talk to a friend who gets it.
So…who might you invite for coffee and conversation?
Gatherings
Last Sunday, I spoke at Integra, a gathering here in Amsterdam of people who are interested in understanding the risks and responses to our colliding crises.
It was a lovely day of sharing, learning, and connecting. From starting the morning together with a calming hour(!) of breathwork to ending the evening singing beautiful songs together, I was inspired to be among so many others who are finding their own ways to make meaning and medicine in the metacrisis.
Anyone going to The Invitation in Brussels in June (facilitated by Samantha Sweetwater and others from Voice of Emergence)?
Link Love: Gabriel Lovemore
Last week, I wrote about having conversations with people who were making different choices about how and where to live right now.
And my friend Gabriel Lovemore (who spent 30 years in conflict zones, collapsed countries, and refugee camps) was inspired to write this insightful post: The Best Collapse Companion is You.
Thank you for reading Collapse Companion, and for being open to trying new ways to stay awake together.
I so appreciate you.
xo Maya
Maya Frost, founder of Collapse Forward