Finding Your Sweet Spot Between Despair and Joy

This dance can feel pretty precarious.

Between fearing the future… and relishing the present.

Between mourning the losses… and deepening our gratitude.

Between struggling to solve a huge problem... and seeing it as a breaking that is beyond our control.

I am doing the dance.

And I´m guessing you are, too, adding your own moves.

Doing the slide toward despair, then two-stepping toward joy.

Shimmying to one side, then moonwalking back to the other.

That´s the work right now.

This is the practice.

We are smack dab in the middle of the moment that requires us to learn to find our balance and stand in the sweet spot.

As we wobble between

the old and the new,

the extractive and the regenerative,

the more and the less,

the sure and the WTF,

the sweet spot is here:

RE-membering.

RE-connecting.

Finding a sense of belonging in this big ol´ web of life.

Sometimes it can be as simple as being outdoors and breathing.

For me lately, it´s inhaling the scent of the fresh basil growing in a planter on my little balcony, and enjoying the freshness of the trees after a rain shower.

Because soon, it´s back into the darkness for me.

Ushering someone through their grief around raising children in scary times.

Talking to another who is shattered that her beloved career now seems harmful.

Next, I´m exploring exciting collaboration ideas with someone else skipping on the bright side.

Playing with my five-year-old grandson. Going out for coffee with my husband, or enjoying yet another delicious meal he has prepared for us.

Then back to reading the bad news, and hearing from someone who is in despair and asking for help.

Flip. Flop.

Up. Down.

The Balancing Act

Here´s what really helps: getting good at noticing what makes you smile.

I know - it sounds ridiculously simple.

But I can tell you that the most balanced people I know who are also fully aware of our cascading crises share a knack for finding the joyful, the funny, the ridiculous.

The silliest conversations I have are with those who work in the darkest trenches. 

Their exuberance and humor did not come naturally or immediately.

They lost it for a (sometimes long) while as they struggled with the reality of our collapsing systems.

And then, they had to cultivate that joy of life in a whole new garden, using unfamiliar tools and unusual seeds. 

They recognize that the very heaviness that weighed them down was precisely what brought them a deeper appreciation for lightness.

They know that the best way forward is the one that allows us to drop to our knees in gratitude AND erupt into gales of laughter… sometimes at the same time.

And isn´t that the world we all want to live in?

It´s the one we must create together.

Plants As Pleasure and Purpose

Here´s something the most joyful doomsters all share: a passion for planting.

Whether they are planting food forests or balcony gardens, rewilding degraded land or regenerating the soil in their backyard with a compost heap, the most balanced collapse-aware folks are getting their hands dirty on a daily basis.

It is the re-connecting that feeds us - literally.

Creativity As Joyful Resistance

Oh, and these people are letting their creativity come out to PLAY.

Writing. Painting. Dancing. Designing. Making. Building.

They have simple but joyful gatherings.

They celebrate small things.

They know the value of giving ourselves ways to explore, express, and release our emotions, and to offer beauty for others to enjoy.

Community As Caring Co-Creators

My happiest collapse-aware colleagues have people they love.

Maybe family - maybe not.

Usually of mixed ages, backgrounds, skills, and interests.

Definitely with a reciprocal relationship of shared bounty and support.

It doesn´t need to be a huge group.

A dozen can be perfect.

That´s a cul-de-sac.

Part of your block.

Maybe the floor of your apartment building.

Or a group of loved ones that are scattered across your neighborhood.

It´s small enough for each person to be known and appreciated deeply and feel that their contribution is needed and honored, and big enough to include a range of gifts and skills that can be useful to all.

PROMPT:

When you look at the simplicity of what I have listed here -

paying attention to joyful moments

planting something

creating something

and connecting with a group of others who care

…nothing sounds difficult.

And it isn´t--in theory. It´s the practice of this in our modern splintered world that has become unnecessarily difficult.

We don´t need more frameworks, podcast episodes, or Zoom groups. We just need a reminder of what it is to be a human being living with simple pleasures among others we care about.

So, here´s a question for you: how might you enhance your life by engaging more fully in each of these?

Noticing what makes you smile.

Being among plants and getting your hands into the soil.

Doing or creating in ways that uplift you.

Connecting with others who share an interest in embracing these elements.

It´s easy to get overwhelmed by the idea of building a better world.

But it can be as simple as inviting a few neighbors to a backyard potluck, porch party, or park picnic.

And talking about what you love about where you live, and how you can protect it - together.

The people who see our reality and stand in the sweet spot are taking active steps to enrich their lives through creativity, nature, and community.

Some saw the signs of collapse 20+ years ago, and waited a very looonnnggg time for others to catch on.

Some just lifted their head up long enough to notice in the last six months.

And there are plenty in between who are at various stages of their journey.

No matter where you are - newbie or sage - I have been saving a place for you right here. :-)

Let´s do this together--right where we are, but with the knowledge that there are people everywhere doing what they can to embrace joy where they are, too.

Thank you for being here, and for being willing to remember how to be human in the simplest and most fulfilling ways.