This qualitative case study combines a summary of the recurring patterns I observed with excerpts from A.'s reflections, shared with permission. It concludes with questions to consider.

As part of my ongoing research in how attention, longing, imagination, participation, habits, and habitats interact, it offers insight into ways of creating more alignment, connection, and meaning.

PATTERN SNAPSHOT

Presenting Situation
Feeling depressed, isolated, and hopeless as a science grad student facing the climate crisis. Described herself as "walking around with a dark cloud hanging over my head."

Longing
To feel respect for herself and be respected by those committed to science for the sake of the climate, and to find a sense of community and belonging among others who understand the urgency and scale of what is happening to the environment. 

Attention Shift
Started seeing possibilities to connect with others who might share her views.  

First Experiment
Reached out to two other graduate students to meet and talk about their concerns about the future for the planet and their own futures in science.

Emerging Habits
Became part of a group of several like-minded students who meet regularly to hike, talk, and share meals together. 

Habitat Changes
Moved out of the apartment she shared with someone not worried about the future and is now living with a fellow grad student who shares her commitment and concerns. Talks honestly about her worries while remaining steady emotionally. 

OUTCOME After 30 Days
Feels a real sense of belonging and deepening friendships in her group. Renewed energy and focus on her studies. Experiencing joy and laughter daily.

PERSONAL REFLECTIONS

The following are excerpts from A.'s comments during the first 30 days.

Day 0 (before the first live online session):

“At age 8, I started demonstrating at climate events with my parents. Hopium carried me into science, which I love, but I feel stuck. I could leave my degree program tomorrow to live/work on a regenerative project (probably where I’ll end up anyway), but I’m too far in to walk away with debt and an unfinished degree.”

Day 4: 

“If I had a life that included friends and fun rather than just a single-minded focus and loneliness, I could go through whatever comes in a way that feels meaningful.

So, the tiny experiment I am actually excited about is reaching out to two people I know who might feel the same way I do.” 

Day 8:

“I feel a flicker of possibility today after last night’s get-together with two program peers. We had never talked so openly, and it was clear that they had been longing for that, too.

It helped knowing that they were also questioning their degree programs. I could totally see the value of their work, and they could see the value of mine, but each of us doubted ourselves. We’re meeting up this weekend, challenged to bring another person. Not sure who to ask, but I feel less tentative about it now.”

Day 14:

“It felt like people really connected, and not just over our shared sense of doom. :-) Seriously, we laughed and found commonalities that surprised us. We all left feeling less alone. I even met a badass botany PhD student. We joked about starting a collapse-aware hot-girl scientists TikTok. I honestly had fun, which felt new.

When I came home, my roommate said, 'Your posture has changed. Are you stretching or something?' Maybe that dark cloud has lifted enough for me to hold my head up!” 

Day 30:

“That new botanist friend? Her roommate had to move back home, so I moved into her place! Good timing, since my old roomie's boyfriend was moving in anyway.

It's so different living with someone who understands how I feel! 

I see now how withdrawing was making me even more miserable. As T. (new roommate) says, ‘Misery loves company, but let’s promise to keep our sense of humor, even if it’s dark!'

Maybe we’ll start that TikTok after all. :-)”