Mindfulness and Anger:
4 Ways to Surf Your Adrenaline Wave
by Maya Frost
Feel that rising tide of anger? Surf's up! Start paddling.
Whenever we feel angry or frustrated, we get a blast of adrenaline coursing
through our bloodstream. In the fight or flight response to stress, our bodies
rely on our appendages. We need to hit, kick, jump or run away, and our bodies
help out by sending extra blood to our limbs.
If we were living in the wild and had to actually fight off a predator or run away
to escape, this would make perfect sense. But in a typical day, we just don't need
those survival mechanisms like we used to. In fact, we do our best to thwart
our body's response to stress by suppressing our physical reactions.
So, instead of the fight or flight response our predecessors relied upon,
we've developed what I call the "sit and seethe"response. In our culture,
the seethers are the "nice" people who don't lash out in anger, who seem to
have good anger management skills.
We've been programmed to sit and seethe.
It's as though we're stepping on the gas (adrenaline) and slamming on the
brakes (inactivity) at the same time.Try doing that in your car, and you'll burn up
your engine. That's what we're doing to our bodies.
Consider a two-year-old having a tantrum.
Picture a little body flailing about, all arms and legs.
That's adrenaline in all its glory!
No suppression of instincts, just a pure, unadulterated expression
of physiology at work.
Some parents give the two-year-old a "time out" to cool off.
This is like asking a charging bull to sip a bit of tea in that proverbial china shop.
With all our blood rushing to our extremities, our brains are getting the leftovers.
This is the worst possible time for people of any age to be logical.
Most of us have learned that we need to step back when we're upset in
order to avoid making a mess of things.
But here's something you may not know:
it takes a full 90 minutes for your body to get back to normal
after experiencing a blast of adrenaline.
The good news is that we can work with physiology to help us
thrive and even make us healthier.
Here are four strategies for surfing your adrenaline wave
without wiping out:
*Paddle. Your arms and legs need movement, so look for acceptable ways to get active.
Go surfing for real, if possible. Do some jumping jacks or kickboxing moves, go for a walk or
a run. Activate those appendages!
*Laugh. When we're angry, our bellies tighten up. We take shallow breaths at the chest level.
This just adds to the brain drain. We need to relax enough that our bellies can move
freely as we breathe, and if we don't get that by doing some cardio that makes us
huff and puff, the next best thing is to laugh. Get a laugh partner, and agree to call
and guffaw No talking allowed. Bust a gut, get a blast of endorphins, and breathe.
*Sing. You need some serious exhalations, so belt out your favorite power ballad.
Get in your car and sing along with your music. Releasing sound is therapeutic in itself.
Throw in some dance moves or air guitar, and you've got it covered!
*Avoid meditation. (Or anything else that requires sitting still.)
Mindfulness is immensely valuable, but trying to meditate when you're really angry
is not realistic or helpful. Be active first, and then sit.
Next time you get mad, get moving.
Learn to surf that adrenaline wave, and you'll become a better decision maker,
a more relaxed parent, and a healthier human.
© 2004-2020 Maya Frost
When sharing, please include the following:
Maya Frost is an author, mindfulness trainer, and creative change strategist.
Learn more at MayaFrost.com
Want to read more articles and tips related to mindfulness?
Whenever we feel angry or frustrated, we get a blast of adrenaline coursing
through our bloodstream. In the fight or flight response to stress, our bodies
rely on our appendages. We need to hit, kick, jump or run away, and our bodies
help out by sending extra blood to our limbs.
If we were living in the wild and had to actually fight off a predator or run away
to escape, this would make perfect sense. But in a typical day, we just don't need
those survival mechanisms like we used to. In fact, we do our best to thwart
our body's response to stress by suppressing our physical reactions.
So, instead of the fight or flight response our predecessors relied upon,
we've developed what I call the "sit and seethe"response. In our culture,
the seethers are the "nice" people who don't lash out in anger, who seem to
have good anger management skills.
We've been programmed to sit and seethe.
It's as though we're stepping on the gas (adrenaline) and slamming on the
brakes (inactivity) at the same time.Try doing that in your car, and you'll burn up
your engine. That's what we're doing to our bodies.
Consider a two-year-old having a tantrum.
Picture a little body flailing about, all arms and legs.
That's adrenaline in all its glory!
No suppression of instincts, just a pure, unadulterated expression
of physiology at work.
Some parents give the two-year-old a "time out" to cool off.
This is like asking a charging bull to sip a bit of tea in that proverbial china shop.
With all our blood rushing to our extremities, our brains are getting the leftovers.
This is the worst possible time for people of any age to be logical.
Most of us have learned that we need to step back when we're upset in
order to avoid making a mess of things.
But here's something you may not know:
it takes a full 90 minutes for your body to get back to normal
after experiencing a blast of adrenaline.
The good news is that we can work with physiology to help us
thrive and even make us healthier.
Here are four strategies for surfing your adrenaline wave
without wiping out:
*Paddle. Your arms and legs need movement, so look for acceptable ways to get active.
Go surfing for real, if possible. Do some jumping jacks or kickboxing moves, go for a walk or
a run. Activate those appendages!
*Laugh. When we're angry, our bellies tighten up. We take shallow breaths at the chest level.
This just adds to the brain drain. We need to relax enough that our bellies can move
freely as we breathe, and if we don't get that by doing some cardio that makes us
huff and puff, the next best thing is to laugh. Get a laugh partner, and agree to call
and guffaw No talking allowed. Bust a gut, get a blast of endorphins, and breathe.
*Sing. You need some serious exhalations, so belt out your favorite power ballad.
Get in your car and sing along with your music. Releasing sound is therapeutic in itself.
Throw in some dance moves or air guitar, and you've got it covered!
*Avoid meditation. (Or anything else that requires sitting still.)
Mindfulness is immensely valuable, but trying to meditate when you're really angry
is not realistic or helpful. Be active first, and then sit.
Next time you get mad, get moving.
Learn to surf that adrenaline wave, and you'll become a better decision maker,
a more relaxed parent, and a healthier human.
© 2004-2020 Maya Frost
When sharing, please include the following:
Maya Frost is an author, mindfulness trainer, and creative change strategist.
Learn more at MayaFrost.com
Want to read more articles and tips related to mindfulness?