Maya Frost with one of her favorite Lucky Baby students.

Now that I’ve had a couple of what I affectionately refer to as “batches” of babies completing my Lucky Baby series, I’m learning a ton about babies, learning and people in general.  As I mentioned in a previous post, I already recognized the “sweet spot” between six and nine months of age.  Here are seven realizations from the past month:

1)     Most people are terrified of groups of babies. Oh, sure, plenty of adults are more than happy to be handed a single baby for a few minutes, hoping the baby won’t cry during the gootchy gootchy goos.  But take even an experienced parent or caregiver and offer them a chance to sit in a room full of a half dozen infants, and most will quickly come up with an urgent reason to get the heck out of there.  Most are happy to hover by the doorway and admire the cuteness, but suddenly remember a pressing engagement once invited inside.  Time after time, I’ve seen relatively baby-seasoned people blanch at the very notion of being surrounded by babies and few would take my place willingly, even for a moment.  This bodes well for me in terms of job security.

2)     The infants cry far less in my classes than the one-year-olds do. Both have their mothers present, so that isn’t the issue.  It’s more the fact that babies simply sit and listen (intently) while the ones tend to be climbing around and/or getting frustrated about something they want to do but can’t.  Most mothers are convinced that a Lucky Baby class will be full of screaming babies—theirs among them—and are very surprised at how calm everyone is.  Other than the first class of each session in which there is usually one very freaked-out baby who has never encountered a foreigner and/or a group of other babies, I have never had any babies cry during class.

3)     There appears to be a significant difference between the babies that have been through the series and those that haven’t. This has come as a big surprise to my staff and me.   We expected the infants to be more familiar with me, more comfortable hearing only English, and used to sitting in a group with other babies, but compared to the babies and toddlers I teach who have not been through the series, the Lucky Baby crowd has a markedly increased attention span, better eye contact, and an overall level of contentedness that far exceeds the others.  Now, I don’t have a way to measure this—it’s anecdotal at this point and an admittedly small sample size (20 or so)—but even adults who have never met any of the babies before would be able to pick the Lucky Little Ones who have been through the series and those who haven’t.  Since they’re not talking yet, there is no tangible language difference, but the difference in attention is dramatic.  Since several studies confirm that bilingual children have a greater ability to pay attention despite distractions than their monolingual peers, I wonder if it’s possible that this difference can show up even at this very early age among children exposed to a second language.

4)      Parents can mess up even one year olds. I feel like a bit of a baby snob for saying this, but it’s so much easier to work with the infants than the toddlers because many of those between one and two years of age have already developed bad habits, no thanks to their parents or caregivers.  I can’t tell you how many barely intelligible “thank yous” I get every day from toddlers whose well-meaning parents have taught them how to show their gratitude to me.  “San-koo-yoo” isn’t helping with the whole phoneme-learning thing, folks.  And that’s just the pronunciation issue—the real problem is the total dependence on the caregiver (often a nanny or grandmother) to the point that the child can’t pick up a toy or place a puzzle piece without being coached and guided.  Of course, they certainly have the ability to do that (and much more) on their own, but they’re never given a chance.  And don’t get me started on the one-child challenge.  A roomful of toddlers who have never even once shared space/toys/attention with another child is a sight to behold.

5)      The classes are eye-openers for parents. Since this is the first (and only) child for these parents, they’ve never had a chance to compare their baby with any other.  They are full of “Is this normal?” questions and get a tremendous amount of relief from the advice I offer and support from the conversation with other mothers.  They really enjoy getting together for the classes—as much for themselves as for their babies.

6)  The babies are very social. Having had several of my own preschoolers at once, I was not at all surprised by this, but what was surprising was the fact that most mothers were under the impression that their children would basically just sit silently and not interact with any other babies.  They are delighted when their babies reach out (literally) or “talk” to each other.  Most babies here don’t spend time with other babies—only adults (and plenty of them, at that), so it’s been fun to watch them become so social.

7)     I love this work far more than I could have imagined. The babies are real little individuals to me and I love their personalities and uniqueness.  Most of all, I truly love coming to class each day to be greeted by the little smiles and kicks and arm waves and squeals of delight. What fun!

I’m so lucky to have the opportunity to pursue this.

It still thrills me to get email messages from parents and students who have read my book, The New Global Student.  I’m lucky that I get that thrill several times a week, and since it’s August and everyone is refocusing on school, I’ve been getting a lot of mail from parents lately.  Many are taking the ideas in the book and running with them, happily discovering resources that are changing the lives of their kids.

This week, I heard from a single dad whose two teenage daughters had been living with their mother for the last few years and were failing in high school despite being smart and doing well throughout their elementary and middle school years.   (This is a common refrain I hear from single parents whose kids are going through a tough transition in the family while navigating the extra work and social challenges of high school.)

Here’s an excerpt from his message to me:

I just wanted to write a brief note to say THANK YOU for your awesome book. It had such an impact that I bought 5 extra copies to lend/give to other parents and educators AND a Kindle copy for me to take when I travel.

Three months ago, it became necessary to recover custody of my two teenage daughters from my ex.  She had completely neglected them in every way…especially their education. The 16 year old had failed 9th grade twice and the 15 yr old once! They were both A students during the first 5 years that they lived with me…then struggled terribly during the last 5 years with her.

I had no idea how I was going to get them caught up, let alone motivate them to want to continue on to college. Then, in my frantic flurry of research for a “Bold School” method of educating my girls…I found your book!  It was a life saver!

Because of your book, my views on the GED (among countless other things) were re-framed and it became the best option for my daughters. They were both excited to take the test.

Your ideas caused me to continue my research on how to transition them to college and get them start started online… and at an amazing college program… Harvard University Extension School ! Yes! THE REAL HARVARD! They have an open enrollment program… skip the traditional enrollment process and the expense! Undergrad Courses only cost an average of $1000 per course. (about the same as a public university) They offer Associate and Bachelors Degree programs as well as Graduate Degree programs. Anyone can enroll…anyone.

So thanks to you, my daughters’ education and future has been snatched from the pit of failure. Not only will they finish their secondary education, but they are now registered as students and are excited about starting their first class at Harvard next month!

Deeply grateful,

R

Great, huh?  In addition to being thrilled about the Harvard online option this resourceful dad sang the praises of k12 and a great site I often recommend:  Khan Academy Find more distance learning options by cruising through guides to online schools.

Maybe you loved high school, or maybe you just managed to get through it. Either way, your son or daughter may be having a very different experience than you did, and it’s important to listen to their concerns.  The world has changed, and your job as a parent is to help your student thrive in it.

Whether your kids are struggling through the consequences of a divorce or just ready to consider a more personalized and fulfilling path through high school, I invite you to look into the many fantastic alternatives available.

You never know what a little digging might reveal–and how it could change the life of your child forever.

Psst:  You might start by checking out the inspiring student stories in my book.

I often receive questions from parents regarding how to save for college, but lately, I’ve been getting emails from financial advisors. They are looking for tips to pass along to their clients who are overwhelmed by the cost of educating their kids. What’s the best way for families to save for college now?

My response is that it may be a lot smarter to save on college than to save for college. With tuition and other costs rising, portfolios shrinking and home values stagnating, a savings plan is helpful but certainly no guarantee of affordability. Families are beginning to look at the true value of education rather than simply scrimping and paying for what they’re told is best for their kids.

Times are changing—and our strategies for educating our children (and paying for that education) must change, as well.

The traditional four-by-four model (4 years of high school followed by 4 years of college) is outdated. That’s good news for both students who are rolling their eyes at the idea of spending five or six years in college and parents who are having heart palpitations thinking about paying for it.

The key to the Bold School approach—and the best way to reduce college costs—is to look for ways to blend and balance learning opportunities beginning in high school. Through dual enrollment programs, IB diplomas or AP tests, many students are earning college credit while in high school. Others are picking a more personalized path, getting a GED at 15 or 16 in order to enroll in college early or getting an associate’s degree by the time they receive their high school diploma. Some are taking college courses, either online or in person, during their summers in high school and transferring to a four-year university at 18 as a junior. And it’s not just a matter of racing ahead to finish early—these students are using their time for meaningful experiences, such as spending a significant period of time abroad before the age of 18 (as exchange students or through extensive study/volunteer opportunities) in order to hardwire their brains for flexibility and language learning and develop a greater understanding of themselves and the world around them.

What they have in common is a clearer idea of their interests because they have been exposed to more options early on and have built momentum in their learning.

One of the easiest ways to ensure that your son or daughter gets the most value out of their time in college is to compress it rather than extend it. The average college student now takes more than five years to graduate and students no longer expect to graduate within four years. As some college students have been known to say, graduating after four years is “like leaving the party at 10:30 p.m.” But that’s a very expensive party and families need to understand that they do have options for reducing the length and cost of college while still giving students that full “college experience.”

Colleges contribute to the added length by not counseling students on how they can finish earlier and by making courses critical for graduation scarce, necessitating an extra semester or two to finish up. In addition, many counselors, worried that students won’t be able to juggle their social life and their classes successfully, advise students to take a minimal load of courses each semester. This may be helpful for some students, but for many, it establishes a pattern early on of spending more time on recreation than on studying, and reduces their expectations regarding the course load they can handle. The truth is that most students find that they budget their time, get more accomplished, and get better grades when they have a full load rather than a lighter schedule.

Here’s what we can do to save money on college, help our kids develop a clear idea of their interests and enable them to graduate early while having transformational experiences along the way:

1) Shift from achievements to interests. The focus during the high school years should be on developing interests and enthusiasm for learning rather than gaining a particular set of academic achievements. This is crucial. By the age of 16, students need to know how to find, understand and synthesis content. They must be able to develop ideas of their own and research the heck out of them. Students who spend years languishing in high school when they could be blasting forward are wasting the most critical period of their adolescent brain development. Kids should be on fire during these years, and as parents, it’s our job to help them come alive rather than simply plod along on a prescribed path. A 17-year-old who can’t wait to learn more about his favorite subjects is going to be more successful in college and life in general than the 17-year-old who does what he is told in order to pass the test. Make this shift in your focus, and your student will be one of those who dives into higher education with great enthusiasm—and graduates early.

2) Break free of four-by-four thinking. The key is to look for ways to blend high school and college, getting credit along the way for a variety of learning opportunities and experiences that help our kids figure out what they’re good at, what interests them, and how they want to spend their time. Students have a tremendous amount of freedom regarding how, where and what they study during the high school years and beyond. But too often, we simply enroll them in a decent school and tell them to just take tough courses and graduate with good grades. We need to question why we think the education we received twenty or more years ago is enough for our kids today, and stop assuming that any given school will have it covered. Remember how motivated you were to expose your son or daughter to a range of rich experiences when they were five years old? What would happen if we took that same approach with our fifteen-year-olds instead of assuming that AP classes, sports practice and a part-time job could maximize their potential?

3) Release the idea that getting into a top school is a prerequisite for success. There are new cracks in those ivy-covered walls. The recession has shown that even those with the most sought-after degrees are not guaranteed a job upon graduation. Those who are resourceful enough to have designed their own best education in a variety of settings will be in a far better position to find work they love than those who are relying on the name on that college diploma or their connections to get their foot in the door. Young adults who are not hampered by enormous student debt are free to take jobs that truly appeal to them rather than whatever pays the bills, and this leads to greater enthusiasm for work, more willingness to explore options and more excitement about their possibilities. We need our kids to want to work diligently because they love what they do—that’s the winning combination that will lead to personal fulfillment and success.

4) Recognize that those who graduate early because they know what they love to do are also saving thousands of dollars. They are not spending five or six years going to the same university—thanks to blending high school, college and study abroad, they may spend less than two years as full-time college students at their final degree-granting institution. By 19 or 20, they’ve got hip-deep experience, a college degree without debt, and tremendous enthusiasm about the next stage of their lives. And when someone suggests that they might have “missed out” on that extra time in high school and college, they simply laugh—they know they’ve packed far more excitement and learning into their personalized education than their peers on the just-tell-me-when-I’m-done track.

I know that families are struggling to pay for college. I don’t have all the answers, and I think parents should run from anyone who claims they do. But the fact remains that simply saving for college is no longer a proactive approach. Selecting a smart blend of education options is more strategic and far more likely to give students the kind of education that is both personally enriching and professionally beneficial without breaking the bank.

Bottom line: be flexible and aware in order to see and seize the best opportunities available—and keep the focus on real value and sustainable growth. That holds true for both finances and education.

Blake Boles has written a remarkable how-to handbook that is destined to change the lives of young people across North America. In College Without High School: A Teenager’s Guide to Skipping High School and Going to College, he offers a step-by-step plan to help students envision their best educational experience and make the most of the time they would have spent in high school.

We didn’t have Blake’s book when our youngest daughter was figuring out how to do high school differently. As a freshman, she spent a year as the only foreigner at her high school in Mexico, and then started taking Spanish classes at a local university in Buenos Aires alongside college students from the U.S. After a great semester of college courses, enrolling in high school seemed like a huge step backward, so she took advantage of some wonderful opportunities to work with tutors and mentors and then spent a summer in Oregon taking a full load of college courses while preparing for her GED tests. That fall, at 16, she enrolled as a freshman at an American college in Buenos Aires, and the following year, she got a nice scholarship/grant package when she transferred as a junior to a private college in upstate New York at the age of 17. She spent the summer doing an independent research project in Argentina and is excited to complete her BS this December just two weeks after she turns 19.

But that’s just her story. Her three older sisters also pursued alternative routes, and there are many, many ways to prepare for and get into college without attending high school. Blake’s book is full of tips and stories to help students plot their own best path.

I had the chance to interview Blake between his sessions leading the Not Back to School camp for teens. He shared some thoughts about the book.

You had an epiphany in college while majoring in astrophysics. Tell us about that—and where it led you.

Since early in high school, I had a passion for physics. Getting high grades in my math & science classes and watching the movie “Contact” also nudged me in that direction. So, I entered UC Berkeley under the astrophysics major and studied it diligently for two years. It was in my third year that cracks started forming in the edifice. In quantum physics I started to see that astrophysics was really just hardcore math, and I began to question my motivations for becoming a professional astronomer. Luckily, that same semester a friend from a 1-unit elective class handed me a book by famed public-school-teacher-turned-homeschool-advocate John Taylor Gatto.

Like a chainsaw, Gatto quickly cut through every assumption I held about the necessity and benefits of regular public schooling. I consumed his book in three days and immediately did a Google search for related authors, which led me to Grace Llewellyn, The Sudbury Valley School, Summerhill, and John Holt. Within two weeks I saw that my passion for astrophysics, genuine but faltering, was no match for the immense intellectual curiosity I held for alternative education. I scoured Berkeley for a design-your-own-major option, argued and pleaded, and eventually got my way. For the next two years I studied alternative education exclusively, following a plan of my design. My curriculum included volunteering at a local “free school”, reading Gatto’s gigantic Underground History of American Education, taking numerous upper division education courses, and designing and leading my own elective course for undergrads (entitled “Never Taught to Learn”). The intellectual and emotional high that I derived from self-directing my college studies was the major epiphany of my young adulthood, and it set the foundation for later writing College Without High School.

What advice can you give to students who have parents who remain unconvinced of this alternative path to a college degree?

Parents should be rightly skeptical of anyone peddling college admissions snake oil–there’s a lot out there. My ultimate response to skepticism is: Look at the evidence. Look at MIT or Stanford’s online admissions guidelines for homeschoolers. They don’t want high school diplomas. They don’t want some perfect equivalent of 4 years of high school classes. They want teens who have taken personal initiative and designed meaningful, independence-building activities for themselves. They want teens who have boldly explored the realms of business, international travel, and college-level research prior to convincing themselves that they actually need college. Traditional high school is very often a handicap in pursuing these character traits. And while not every college has explicit homeschool admissions policies like MIT and Stanford, the logic remains the same: colleges want dynamic, innovative teens who leave the cookie-cutter approach behind for greener pastures.

Skeptical parents often compare their child’s college preparatory journey to their same journey of yesteryear. It’s important to realize that high school diplomas don’t hold nearly the same cachet today as they did a few decades ago. Community colleges are much easier to get into as a teen, and dual- or early-enrollment programs abound. The biggest bureaucratic hurdles exist in public college admissions, but an easily obtained GED can soothe those ruffled feathers. These facts are the kind of evidence that parents should seek out to decide whether their fears are founded or unfounded.

What tips do you offer to students who have been in public or private schools through the 8th or 9th grade and are now considering preparing for college without high school?

My book is actually written for just those teens: the ones who have attempted to diligently follow school’s path but have only met disillusionment and boredom in the process. (Middle school is usually when this sets in.) A majority of the teens interviewed in my book made their unschooling decision in 9th grade.

What’s most important for a teen making the transition away from traditional school is to identify, as specifically as possible, their personal dreams and goals. Read the books that have always caught your eye in the bookstore. Take the train to visit your friend three states away. Build a computer in your garage or spend six hours a day writing music. Unschooling should be a “moving toward” something, not “moving away”. Once these values are clear, they should start pursuing them ruthlessly–and then figure out how college prep can be mixed into the brew. Following this order (interests first, college prep second) is vital for maintaining enthusiasm and self-motivation as an unschooler.
If a teen doesn’t know what truly excites them (as often happens with first-time school refugees), a short “deschooling vacation” might be in order. This is a period of time during which no structured academics are required, no schedule is followed, and parental nudging is kept to a minimum. The point is for the teen to push through the “no one is going to tell me what to do” barrier and enter “I have to motivate myself” land.

Though you encourage students to get creative about designing a personalized college-prep education, you suggest they prepare for and take standardized tests like the SAT or AP tests. Why not continue their alternative approach by finding other options for admission?

The SAT is certainly not required for all college admissions as a homeschooler., but the vast majority of traditional schools require at least one traditional academic achievement indicator (SAT, ACT, GED) and often more (SAT Subject, AP). The good news is that these tests have always existed independently of high school, and for that reason, it’s easy to prepare for them as a homeschooler. Grab a few SAT study guides, figure out exactly where your weak spots are, review hard in those areas, and take the test when you see fit. It’s a self-directed and results-oriented approach to college prep.

In view of the financial challenges facing many families, what’s your advice for those who need to reduce their college costs?

Community college is a golden bullet for financial hurdles. Many of the college-bound unschoolers with whom I work start community college around age 16, gather a significant number of transferable credits (or an Associate’s degree) by 18 or 19, and have lots of cool adventures along the way. Then they’re ready to apply (or transfer) into a 4-year school with sophomore or junior standing, saving thousands or tens of thousands of dollars.

What options do you recommend for those interested in increasing their knowledge of the world and themselves?

As you argue excellently in The New Global Student, international immersion provides teens with an incredible wealth of self-knowledge. But many teens don’t want to participate in a packaged tourist program that carefully clings to the beaten path, and many parents won’t let their teens leave the beaten path alone. The solution lies somewhere in the middle–in finding a program that provides some modicum of safety and structure while providing teens with ample time to explore a new culture and learn from the common travel mistakes that they’ll inevitably make.

To find such opportunities, I recommend that teens first explore Idealist.org and search for volunteer positions specific to their age and desired location (using the “advanced search” feature). Often these programs provide a host family, English-speaking support network, and both structured and unstructured time. Another option (for those who don’t mind getting their hands dirty) is WWOOF: World-Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms. In exchange for a small number of hours of farm work each day, students get to enjoy total immersion in the rural life of a foreign country. Both volunteering and “WWOOFing” offer the coveted combination of low cost and high immersion that a globetrotting teen seeks. There are also, of course, my own Unschool Adventures (http://www.unschooladventures.com) and Homeschool Leadership Retreats (http://www.homeschoolleadershipretreats.com) that strive to offer a similar experience.
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I highly recommend Blake’s book to any middle school or high school student seeking more excitement and engagement in their educational journey. Smart parents should buy this book for their kids and be bold enough to encourage them to forge ahead in new ways. To learn more, visit http://www.CollegeWithoutHighSchool.com

President Obama shared some advice with America’s schoolchildren (or some of them, anyway) and I’m happy that he encouraged students to work hard and stay in school. He had some sound long-term suggestions.

But as any parent knows, kids don’t think about the long term. They think about lunchtime or recess or tomorrow’s quiz, but most elementary school students do not ponder the possibility of quitting school. They assume that things will work out and they’ll stay on track until the day they graduate from high school.

It’s great to plant those powerful seeds of responsibility and commitment in the minds of our kids, but what they need most is the daily nurturing of habits that will contribute to their success. And while schools can certainly do their part to promote good habits and kids can step up their efforts, parents are the ones who are teaching (or not) their kids to become outstanding citizens who value education.

So, I’d like to offer the following list of ten wishes that would make a big difference both today and in ten years in the lives of our students. You’ll notice that every wish is aimed squarely at parents, those most experienced long-term thinkers. After all, they’ve been dreaming of the future they hope their children will have since before their sons and daughters were born.

1) I wish that parents of preschoolers would cancel one of those weekly must-do activities (swimming, gymnastics, soccer) and take their kids to the local library instead. (Instilling a love for reading and discovery is the key to creating lifelong learners.)

2) I wish that parents would impose bed times for their school-age children. (A lack of sleep has a profound effect on young students’ learning ability and brain development.)

3) I wish that parents would make dinner time an inviolable period during which the family sits down together for relaxed conversation. (Regular family dinners are one of the most powerful indicators of future student success.)

4) I wish that parents would model healthy eating and exercise for their children and include active recreation into their family’s regular schedule. (Obese students are far more likely than their normal-weight classmates to drop out of school.)

5) I wish that parents would spend less time driving their kids to sports practices and more time taking them to art classes, music lessons and cultural experiences. (Students who study music do better academically, and those who are exposed to other cultures have a greater appreciation for those of different backgrounds.)

6) I wish that parents of middle-school students would encourage their kids to find and develop their own strengths rather than sign up for the activities their friends are doing. (Middle school students who know what they’re good at develop greater confidence at an age when this quality can dramatically alter their life choices.)

7) I wish that parents of middle-school students would encourage their kids to develop and share their own opinions. (Kids spend a lot of time with their peers at this age, and the influence of adults is greatly needed in order for them to see issues from a more mature perspective. Those family dinners are crucial at this age!)

8 ) I wish that parents of high school students would encourage their kids to deepen and celebrate the qualities that make them different. (High school students who see themselves as “individualistic” or “independent” are more likely to excel in the areas they find interesting—and this leads to a clearer sense of direction.)

9) I wish that parents of high school students would send their son or daughter abroad for at least a few months prior to graduation. (I’ve written a book on the benefits of the high school exchange or other experiences abroad and made recommendations for the most affordable options—less than $4,000 for an entire year with plenty of full scholarships offered. Spending time abroad at this age is the most brain-boosting and transformational opportunity available for young people and far more advantageous than another same-old semester or year of high school.)

10) I wish that parents of high school students would become savvy mentors rather than crazed coaches or fearful protectors. (If parents commit themselves to wishes one through nine, this will already be the case and their kids will be confident, competent and compassionate young adults who are truly ready for college or anything else they choose to do.)

Teachers, schools and presidential advice matter, but without consistent parental support and encouragement, kids will not have the skills and habits they need to maximize their potential. If we want our sons and daughters to prepare for their most thrilling and fulfilling opportunities in the 21st century, we need to make these wishes come true.

I feel frustrated that so many recent college grads are having a hard time finding a job. In all the articles and discussions about the economic slump, I have never seen a reference to what I believe is the biggest problem facing the young unemployed:

Nobody told them that they might have to look outside their community, their state or even their country to find work–and nobody taught them the skills they need to thrive outside their comfort zone.

I’ve had some interesting conversations with bright but unemployed grads lately. What I have noticed is that many of these young people have a very limited idea of what it means to “look for a job” and few go beyond the obvious Help Wanted/Craigslist route or the see-if-Dad’s-company-is-hiring idea. Even more challenging is the fact that many new grads are unwilling or unable to consider work outside the community in which their parents live. They are home with the folks and looking for work within a 25-mile radius of where they went to high school.

This might be fine if you happen to have a degree and experience that corresponds with a sizable selection of desirable jobs available in your home town, but that’s rarely the case. And those who feel restricted due to a lack of launch funds can’t see themselves looking much farther than the next town over.

So when I hear someone say, “I’ve been looking everywhere but I haven’t been able to find a job,” the first question I ask is this: where is “everywhere”?

Plenty of people roll their eyes whenever the subject of “preparing students for the global economy” comes up, but they are the ones most likely to cry foul when their kids can’t find a job. And there’s the rub: Hometown, USA is not the final frontier for our kids and we are not doing them any favors by failing to teach them how to fish outside the local fishing hole.

New grads need to recognize–and yes, be prepared for–the fact that they might find their most thrilling and fulfilling opportunities far from home. Do they have the skills to successfully navigate in a place that is unfamiliar to them? Can they start fresh in a new city or state or country without their family and friends nearby? Are they able to adapt to new settings that require a different perspective or perhaps even a different language?

In most cases, the answer is no. Not only have they not been given an opportunity to practice autonomy, they have not had a chance to develop and strengthen the skills they need to find employment options and pursue them wholeheartedly.

Those who ARE prepared are finding all kinds of interesting work in every corner of the globe. Every week, I hear from elated parents about their son or daughter who is embarking on an adventure in another country that is both fascinating and lucrative.

I’ve done the happy dance myself for my own daughters. The oldest just finished her master’s degree, two graduated from college last December and the youngest will graduate from college this December. The three older daughters are currently working in New York, Buenos Aires and on a cruise ship in the Mediterranean. They found jobs with enticing perks (an employer-paid master’s degree, the ability to work virtually, employer-provided training and travel expenses, etc.) in places that interest them.

Did my girls have degrees from elite universities? Nope. None of them attended any colleges that would evoke oohs and ahhs. But they had experience living in other cultures and fluency in at least one foreign language. And I’m not talking Mandarin or Arabic here–they blasted ahead largely because of their fluency in that most underrated of foreign languages: Spanish.

Granted, not every college grad is ready to go abroad to work, but many more would be if they’d been prepared for the realities of (here it is again) the global economy. And those who are sticking close to home may find that the recession limits their options far longer than they would have imagined.

Listen, I’m not saying every new grad should leave the country to find work, but it’s true that those who have a larger pool of options have a much higher chance of getting a great job. Having the skills and experience that allow them to reach beyond their peers means they are no longer competing with them for the same jobs. By engaging in work that challenges them (rather than settling for whatever they can find), they are advancing their knowledge and expanding their possibilities for the future.

Recession? Those who are willing and able to find work wherever the jobs may be are not hampered by an economic downturn. Grads who have spent time abroad, developed language skills, experienced other cultures and discovered their interests have the confidence and competence to go forth and offer their talents to those who need them. And the truly bold and innovative ones figure out how to create their own work–and generate their own income–anywhere.

Don’t believe it? Living in Argentina has given me a front-row seat from which to watch expats in action abroad. I’m currently writing a book about Americans of all ages and backgrounds who are finding and/or creating meaningful work they love wherever they choose to live. They share some common characteristics–and some that are surprising.

When it comes to job hunting, the strategy that yields the best results is to think broadly and be bold. Sometimes that also includes going beyond borders, both real and imagined.

Some of my earliest memories are of playing in the vegetable garden. I remember eating handfuls of parsley, drinking the first sun-warmed spurt of water from the garden hose, watching for the radishes (always the radishes) to be the first seeds to sprout. There were beans to pick (and bean tents to hide inside), stalks of corn to wander through, and cherry tomatoes to pop into my mouth.

From the time I was ten, my family lived on a ten-acre piece of mostly wooded property three miles by gravel road outside a town of 350 people. In our acre-plus garden, we grew the usual range of vegetables, herbs and fruits, but played with new crops each year, from peanuts to currants. I could tell the difference between the various pepper starts and developed an educated palate that could easily distinguish between the flavors of a Hood strawberry versus a Shuksan or Northwest. I worked in the fields in my agricultural town all summer long–strawberries, beans, cucumbers, onions–and helped the farmers harvest the prunes, walnuts, and apples in the fall.

Being a farm kid came naturally to me, and when I wasn’t in the garden, I was in the woods. I taught kids at camp how to recognize the star-shaped tip of the salal berry (edible) and sample the delicious nectar obtained by scraping the root of the licorice fern. I knew my cones and mosses, and a high school field biology class (and a summer hoeing the weeds in vast onion fields) taught me about the native plants in the area and how to make a salad from purslane and dandelion greens.

During college, I spent a year traveling through Asia. I was drawn to the produce markets and the rice paddies and felt a kinship with the bent-over women in the fields. In Nepal, I studied the flora and fauna of the Himalayas, and stayed with a talented gardener on the seashore in Cornwall during the final month of my trip. She introduced me to climbing roses and perennials of all kinds.

After college, I moved to northern rural Japan where I taught English for several years. I lived in a small community facing the bay, and loved spending weekends exploring the meadows and forests in the area. My next-door neighbor had a huge garden in which she grew things new to me–soybeans and even mushrooms on a long row of wooden tree branches. We shared tips and I learned about the delicious wild mountain vegetables that were such a delicacy and the trees that turned the hillsides scarlet in the fall.

My next stage of life gave me a wonderful opportunity to live in a small Oregon town while raising four young daughters. My husband and I lived five blocks from Main Street, where we owned a couple of small retail businesses. My girls grew up knowing all the shopkeepers by name, and spent many happy afternoons playing in the room behind the store, going to buy candy three doors down and hanging out at the used bookstore up the street. We played a key role in the community, and my daughters understood the benefits of living in a place in which it was possible to work together in order to create a fun neighborhood event or raise money for a worthy cause right in their town. I became obsessed with gardening, seeking out the most obscure perennials and digging up swaths of lawn to plant new beds full of flowering shrubs and my favorite natives.

Later, we lived in suburbia, where we had a dramatically different experience. Some of our neighbors had lived in their homes for 25 years without ever meeting the families in the houses four doors down. There were plenty of grassy parks and manicured yards, but very few natural places open to anyone who wanted to explore them. The only stores in the area were the two strip malls mile to the north or the acres of big-box retailers across the highway to the south. There were no front porches from which to greet passing neighbors and many had landscaping services come to mow their front lawns. Most people spent their time on the decks and in the hot tubs in their private backyards.

I missed chatting with neighbors while spreading compost in my front flower beds. I missed vegetable gardens. I missed having a community in which it might take half an hour to walk two blocks because there were so many people to chat with along the way. I could go on a two-hour walk without ever passing someone on the sidewalk.

Now, we live in Buenos Aires, Argentina. It’s a city of nearly 13 million people, and we live in the heart of it. I can enjoy stately parks full of old trees and a fascinating botanical garden just a few blocks away. There’s a produce vendor across the street who sells all kinds of fresh vegetables and fruits in season. I am learning about the native plants and the growing season, and getting to know the people on my block. Though I do occasionally long to dig in the dirt, I feel a connection to the land, the climate and the people.

During the past two weeks, I’ve been back in the Pacific Northwest. It’s the height of summer, and strolling through the old neighborhoods has given me a chance to admire the lush gardens and remember the joy of creating textural and fragrant art by designing plant combinations. I breathe deep and smile as the bumblebees buzz in the lavender plants along the sidewalks.

I have spent the last few years giving my daughters a chance to live abroad and learn more about themselves and the world. I just devoted a year to writing a book that promotes the idea of giving our children meaningful periods of time spent living in other countries. And I’ve had many conversations with people who are enthusiastic about giving their kids a global education.

But during the last few weeks of this book tour, I’ve come to recognize and appreciate the very local education I received growing up in Oregon and the sense of place that was instilled in me through those many, many hours in the garden, the woods, and the neighborhoods of my youth. Our children need a sense of place. They need to know where their food comes from–even if that’s a farmer’s market instead of their own vegetable garden. We must give them an appreciation for nature that goes beyond freshly-mowed lawns and crowded beaches.

It’s becoming more difficult to give our kids a chance to hike in the forests, muck about in ponds and run through meadows, but it’s imperative that we show them the bounty of the earth and teach them their responsibility in protecting it.

And though I am an evangelist for getting kids out into the world, I am equally passionate about ensuring that our children know where they are from, that they have roots into the land and joy in the changing seasons. As parents, we can give our kids enriching opportunities to learn both locally and globally and teach them how to dig into their own community–no matter where in the world it might be.

Being global means having a deep awareness of the world and the ability to see it from various perspectives. Sometimes it means coming back home and growing deep roots. Other times, it means moving abroad and planting oneself in a whole new place.

In every case, it means bringing the appreciation of a sense of place wherever you go and connecting with others in order to enrich each other.

When we raise global localists, the world becomes a greener, more compassionate place.

I’ve read several articles and blog posts recently about education consultants who charge as much as $40,000 to get a student into college. Now, I recognize that there are many education consultants who offer valuable assistance to families struggling with the college admissions process and that most don’t charge anywhere near that amount. However, I think it’s important for parents and others to understand that there is a booming business based on fear and ego and that parents are the target market precisely because they are feeling helpless and afraid that they can’t navigate the college admissions process without professional assistance.

I love reading the comments posted below the online articles from students whose parents paid big bucks to get into a top school–and who now feel it was a total waste of money (for various reasons). Generally these students learned that:

1) an elite school does not guarantee them any advantages

2) the money their parents paid would have been better spent on experiences to help the student prepare for life as a young adult rather than getting into a more prestigious college

3) they feel stupid for being suckered into paying that much for services that they could have duplicated for far less

Listen, if a family has the means and the desire to have someone help their kids get into the college of their (parents’ or kids’) dreams, that’s their business. The problem is that they are teaching their kids that they are helpless and must rely on others to get what they want in this world.

Those who flock to specialists to help their kids get into college are perpetuating the learned helplessness that characterizes so many students’ lives before, during and after college. These kids are learning that they can’t do it on their own (despite the fact that thousands of other kids manage somehow) and that they need high-end coaching for years in order to make things happen.

Whenever we hear about twentysomething who don’t have a clue what they want to do, we need only look at the path that has led them to that point–and how seldom they have had an opportunity to make and trust their own decisions and move forward without relying upon help from others.

Why would parents send the message that their kids aren’t going to have a chance to succeed unless they get into a prestigious college? Why don’t parents have more confidence in their kids’ ability to follow the steps required to get the job done? Why do we put so much more emphasis on the process of getting into college rather than the process of becoming a confident, competent, compassionate young adult who is able to thrive in the world without help?

I believe that most parents have good instincts, but these get buried under layers of fear, ego and learned helplessness. Every day, I get emails from parents asking me to help their kids get into college. I tell them I offer a 30-minute kickstart call after they’ve read my book, but that I think they are fully capable of moving forward without any more help from me or anyone else.

Now, a savvy business person would say I should milk these parents for all they’re worth, and my bank account would certainly be much fatter if I did. But I know that parents don’t need a ton of coaching to help their kids get into college– what they need is information and inspiration to help them become less helpless and fearful. They need encouragement to become calm, wise mentors who allow their kids to become confident enough to lead their own education process.

When we rely on expensive services to “prep” our kids for top schools, we are telling them that they can’t possibly compete in the Real World without our assistance–and our money. Parents who want their kids to be able to get great jobs they love after graduation (without their help) would be better off teaching their kids how to flesh out an idea, research the heck out of it, and follow the thread that leads to the most thrilling and fulfilling opportunities.

Parents: if you are considering paying for college help, consider what you are saying to your son or daughter by hiring a consultant to do what most families handle without assistance. Think about how you might spend that money in a way that would give your student more opportunities to develop confidence, relevant skills, a clear sense of direction, and flaming enthusiasm.

The biggest problem with learned helplessness is that it’s both contagious and hereditary. Stop the cycle now, and your kids will have a much brighter future.

After nearly a year and a half of working together virtually, it was such a thrill to finally meet my editor, Heather Proulx! Tom and I had breakfast with her across the street from the Random House building and then went upstairs to check out the publishing premises–always nice to have a visual so I can picture her when we correspond in the future!

In this short video, Heather tells why my initial proposal was so compelling to her personally and shares her story of “swirling”–attending more than one college before earning a diploma. I’m a big fan of swirling and more importantly, paying attention to what’s not fulfilling. Cheers to you, Heather, for seeing your best education options clearly!