I don’t talk about this very often, but lately I have been thinking a lot about how the deaths of two of my brothers by suicide has impacted my life.
One took his life at the age of 45, the younger one at 39.
Don’t get me started on the mid-life crisis–I don’t believe in it. What I do believe is that there are people who are born with a predisposition for depression (during times of frustration, my younger brother used to say “I’m going to blow my head off”–at the age of three). Also, I believe that people can make choices about how they respond to their despair, even when they are in the very pit of it.
I know this because I have been there.
And because I was at mid-life age myself when my brothers took their lives, I have become even more strident in my opinion that we simply cannot afford to stay in settings and situations that do not give us what we need to thrive.
My brothers could not see a way out, even though there were any number of options available to them. That’s what depression does–it removes hope. But there were years during which they had the mental clarity to see that the choices they were making were not conducive to connection, engagement and growth. At some point, they could no longer see that they had options.
I’m not sure what I’m trying to say with this. I guess I just want to say that there are times when failing to see our options has tragic consequences.
My brothers’ deaths have motivated me to focus on making positive choices in my own life, and they have inspired in me an urgent need to help others do the same.
For the past two years, I have been focusing on helping parents help their kids find more engaging and fulfilling ways to get an education. Now, I’m shifting toward helping adults see that they have options for greater connection, meaning and fulfillment at EVERY age. Specifically, I’m looking at how U.S. adults can completely change their lives by making some bold moves (in terms of place, work, relationships).
Most of all, I want to encourage people to see that despite what may seem like insurmountable obstacles on the path to fulfillment, there are ways around them.
I hope to share some ideas with you here and in my future books, including the one I just submitted to my agent and the one I am working on now.
I invite you to join me in considering the ways our choices about where we live, what we do, and who we spend time with affect our ability to be engaged and happy at any age.
http://www.bringchange2mind.org
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I read at that website: “1 in 6 adults and almost 1 in 10 children suffer from a diagnosable mental illness”.
This is misleading. There’s a difference between suffering from a mental illness and being diagnosed with a mental illness.
Back in the days when my dad spent most of his adult life in a psychiatric institution, you had to be chronically incapable of functioning in society to qualify as “mentally ill”.
These days it seems, the definition of “mental illness” has been expanded to such an extent that there are people who have been persuaded they’re “mentally ill” because they’re not constantly happy.
As for the “mental illnesses” that are no more than a figment of the psychiatric profession’s collective imagination, where to start with that pernicious can of worms?
Actually, having now read the page entitled “Learn the Facts” and been told that mental illness is “a disorder of the brain” – which it’s not – and that it’s “a disease” – which it’s not – I would say bringchangetomind.org is misleading the general public in a number of ways.
Interested parties might like to do some due diligence:
http://www.psychsearch.net/teenscreen.html
http://www.psychdisorders.org
http://www.adhdfraud.com
http://www.breggin.com
“It’s never too late to become the person you are supposed to be”-sign on a friend’s desk
We always have choices, but it always involves taking a risk that gets amplified by fear. Let fear control your destiny once, and it seems to get bigger every subsequent time.
Thank you for sharing this reflection. It is not always easy to do but your words provide much.